Saturday, June 22, 2013

The Wages of Sin

There is something quite evil about this posting. Your job…figure it out. When you think you know the answer, email it to One will be selected from all the correct responses. The winner will receive a copy of Twitch AND a copy of The Daily Death: How I Killed My Co-Workers in 30 Days, signed of course. (Note: please include a mailing address with your entry in the event you are selected.)

On with the blog

From the start of time, demons have walked in every footstep of man, always having a dark side. Even Dante’s Inferno, a classic text of and open to interpretation that depicts nine circles of suffering and penance leading to Hell loosely associates them too. Better known as the seven deadly sins, there are associated actual demons too. Of course, not everyone agrees that each perfectly match’s their specific sin, lending to believe that each are capable of commanding all the sins. However, the consensus for the Seven Princes of Hell are as follows:

1: PRIDE – Satan and not Lucifer, which is a bit of a misnomer understandingly due to being one in the same, are the proprietor. Where Lucifer refers to the being prior to casting out of heaven, Satan is the transformation afterward. Of course, this doesn’t imply any less wickedness and therefore, love of self, desire to be above others or more important, knowingly ignoring other’s achievements reign. The first and deadliest sin, spawning subsequent others while maintaining and embedding primary everlasting roots will cost, according to Dante, large stone slabs being lugged, in hopes of coercing humility.

Proud for accomplishing is fine; looking down on the meek who hadn’t isn’t.

2: Mammon: GREED – Another excess sin, a desire so strong that only the accumulation of material possessions will it be satisfied, regardless of quantity. Bound and forced face-down, Dante implies this is for considering and primarily concentrating on earthy thoughts only.

Does a person really need an unlimited supply of material possessions when it usually involves scaling a ladder made of broken people?

3: Asmodeus LUST – Most tend to assume sexual overtones with this sin, and couldn’t be more wrong. Actual intent is desire, regardless of quest. In Inferno, harsh unrelenting winds, synonymous with the chronic lustful desire churn the unwitting about.

There’s a reason that Playboy is a top magazine, not because of the articles.

4: Leviathan: ENVY – The insatiable desire, according to Aquinas, “sorrow for another’s good.” Dante’s depiction requires sewn shut eyes, a penance for taking pleasure in seeing others’ failures.

We all have a tendency to call this karma.

5: Beelzebub: GLUTTONY. From the Latin word gluttire, to gulp down, it is a sin closely associated with food and in most instances this would be a correct assumption. But, there are other forms and anything in over consumption applies. This sin is not addressed by Dante.

Remember this when you read the next all you can eat restaurant sign.

6: Amon: WRATH – Ira for rage, this sin usually applies to anger and/or hatred, but also points inwardly too. Therefore, suicide is lumped into this sin not necessarily applying to the consensus of selfishness.

Justice, spite and revenge are three words with three absolute definitions that walk a fine line. One is fine; the other two will only lead elsewhere.

7: Belphegor: SLOTH – Typically thought of as laziness, this wouldn’t be a misconstrued conception even though it leans toward not applying or utilizing one’s talents. Funny thing, according to Dante’s Inferno, having to constantly run as fast as one could indefinitely (eternity) was the penance. 

With the exception of Sunday, considering it an advised day of rest, the couch is not a place to spend one’s life.

Coincidentally, the Catholic Church tends to agree, simply referring to these as virtues: Chastity (Lust), Temperance (Gluttony), Charity (Greed), Diligence (Sloth), Patience (Wrath), Kindness (Envy), Humility (Pride), but those will be discussed at another time.

You have 30 days (July 22nd). Good luck!

Stay Scared,

Sunday, June 9, 2013

How To Organize A Zombie Walk - A special guest post by Marie Sumner

It’s raining brains! Hallelujah!
 It’s time to get your zombie walk on. What’s that you say? You don’t know how to get your zombie walk on?  Well I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that you know how to dress and walk like a zombie, but that you just don’t know how to organize an official zombie walk. (If you don’t know how to walk like a zombie, I’ll let you save face a bit. Check out this YouTube Video. It will change your life.)
Now that we are all caught up to speed we can go over how to organize a zombie walk in your own community.
1.       The first step is to identify your objectives behind the walk. Are you interested in a zombie walk to raise awareness for the zombie apocalypse, to raise money for a local charity, or to just plain dress up like a zombie? My favorite excuse for a zombie walk is to collect food donations for a local food bank. That way when the zombie apocalypse does strike there is some food available for those who survive. You raise awareness and help out a charity at the same time.

2.       Recruit some volunteers to help out. Herding a large group of zombies is worse than herding a group of cats. Trust me on this one. You are going to want all of the help you can get. Just make sure that your volunteers understand your objective and take the walk as seriously as you do.

3.       Plan a route! A zombie walk has to start and end somewhere right? Make sure you chose an area that is safe and has as few roads to cross as possible. Zombies generally move too slow to get out of the way of moving cars so you want to make sure everyone is safe. Public parks and cemeteries are popular places. (Keep in mind that this is one of the few instances where it is NOT easier to ask for forgiveness than permission. Make sure you talk to the city or the owners of the property to have your walk approved.)

4.       Raise some money. It does seem a bit ridiculous that you have to raise money in order to raise money for charity but that’s just how it goes. More than likely, you’re going to have to spend money on things like insurance, event promotion, permits, etc.  Get y our volunteers to put their brains together (get it?) and pool your resources.  This is for charity so we are in no way above asking for money. Local businesses are usually happy to help out with charity events so hit them up. It’s a tax write-off for them anyways. 

5.       Locate your zombies.  A zombie walk is going to be pretty lame without some actual zombies so spread the word! Facebook, Twitter, and some flyers are great ways to promote your event. The word of mouth also works really well too so tell everyone you know.

6.       Get in costume. You can’t expect to organize a zombie walk without dressing up like a zombie yourself now can you? Fake blood and some tattered clothes are definitely a must in this situation. You should also be willing to help out any other participants who might need help with their costumes.

7.       Execute! The walk that is. On the day of the walk have your zombies check in and drop off their food donation or whatever else it is that you may be collecting. Have your volunteers disperse themselves throughout the flock of zombies and begin walking. One of your volunteers should be leading the walk to make sure everyone stays on course and in character.

8.       Clean up. Once you reach your destination take some pictures or whatever else have you, but make sure that you and your volunteers stick around long enough to clean up. Follow the route back to the beginning and pick up any trash or debris you might see. You’ll be surprised by how messy zombies can be.

Author Bio:
Marie Sumner is a horror movie fanatic who will use any excuse she can find to play dress up. When she’s not participating in her own zombie walk or watching The Howling, she writes for Wholesale Halloween Costumes to feed her addiction to Halloween.