Thursday, March 24, 2011

So, You Fell Into A Mud Puddle!

So, you fell into a mud puddle. What are you going to do now? Complain and make excuses about it? Why? Because your shoes and clothes are wet and dirty? Or, because you skinned up your knee? It's easy to complain about it. However, it is not so easy to pick ourselves up, brush ourselves off, realize that it just might have been our own fault, learn from it, and go on. The point that I'm trying to make is that a majority of the time, it will be of our own undoings that we fell into that mud puddle in the first place. So, why then do we complain about it and attempt to divert blame away from the true source of the problem?

Why don't we ask ourselves "Why did we fall into that mud puddle in the first place?" Did we fall into it because we tripped? Did we fall into it because we weren't paying attention? Did we fall into it because of..?

Let's apply this principle to real events and I'll attempt to explain my logic of thinking. Of course, keep in mind, that I realize and fully understand that sometimes, there are circumstances beyond control that do apply to these scenarios. Times, such as those, cannot be helped. It's part of life. That is when we do the best to pick ourselves up and go on. However, I personally feel, that a majority of the time, we are guilty of our own undoing.

Here are a few of many possible examples that may explain what I'm trying to convey. Of course, you will probably have your own opinions, as you should, and may or may not agree with me..., and I respect that.

Let's look at loss of employment. Did you lose your job? Why did you lose your job? Was it due to "current economic conditions?" If this is the case, then there is nothing you could of did to change this, and life goes on. But, did you lose your job because you miss work regularly? Did you lose your job because you were late quite a bit? Did you lose your job because you were not capable of what the position entailed? Did you lose your job because you came to work under the influence? If this is the case, then you are guilty of your own situation and therefore, have no reason to make excuses and complain about it.

What about paying the bills? Did you go to the latest concert, or out to dinner, when you knew, deep down, that you really couldn't afford it? Did you buy the latest cell phone, music cd, or download the latest ring tone? Or, did your vehicle break down causing an added expense. Maybe you were sick and had to buy medicine. These are legitimate reasons why a bill may not get paid. But, are they legitimate reasons why a bill should not have gotten paid?

Did you get a ticket? Why did you get the ticket? Were you speeding? Did you run a red light? Why were you in such a hurry? Were you late for work? Why were you late for work? Did you get up late? Did you get up late because you stayed out with your friends, thus causing you to sleep in, therefore, creating your lateness? Whose fault is that? Or, did you have a flat tire that required you to repair it beforehand, causing your lateness? Whose fault is that? An employer will normally understand this flat tire scenario and with simple communication such as a telephone call. Unless, of course, this is your fourth flat tire this week. But, will they understand that you slept in because you stayed out too late. Doubtful. Back to the ticket. Now, ask yourself, was it really NOT your fault?

I have heard a million and one excuses as to why the situation at hand is not the person's fault. Although, I never seem to hear, that I caused this because of...?

In utilizing the above examples, because, I didn't go to work or, because I spent the money frivolously or, because I was speeding.

Responsibility, accountability, and accepting the fact that we are or was the root cause of this problem never seems to be a part of the solution. It should be. For, had we not missed so much work, we may have retained our job, or had we not went shopping we may have been able to pay that bill, or had we gotten up just a bit earlier, we would not of had to rush, thus, probably not getting a speeding ticket.

Writing works the same way. Believe me, I'm heard many times "I want to be a writer." But, wanting and being is two different things. Often, it is those same writer wannabe's that also say, "I don't have time," or "I don't know where to start," or "I don't have a computer,"  or many other excuses. And, if you constantly keep finding excuses to NOT write, well then, it will be your own fault that it never gets written in the first place.

We are all human and make mistakes. And, many times there are extenuating circumstances and legitimate reasons that contribute to many of life's problems. When those times occur, maybe there truly isn't or wasn't anything we could do about it. But, before we begin to gripe, whine, denounce, complain, and make excuses about it, we need to ask ourselves, "Why did we fall in that mud puddle in the first place?" Just remember, whether you can or whether you can't...you're right!

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Stay Scared,
Thomas